Scaredy Cat

Most people look at me and they see a confident girl who seems scared of nothing.

I love rollercoasters.

I’m not afraid of heights.

I’ve gone cliff jumping.

I’ve swam with a shark in the ocean.

I’ve put together multiple girls’ bible studies.

I’ve never met a stranger.

I speak my mind.

I created a girls conference, and I spoke at that conference.

 

But if you want to know the truth, the whole time I did most of those things, I was scared out of my mind.

Katie Davis writes “There is a common misconception that I am courageous. This is not actually true. Most of the time I am not brave. I just believe in a God who will use me even though I am not [brave].” People assume that I’m someone extraordinary. Girls that I’ve counseled believe that I am someone special. But, in all actuality, I’m just a normal girl –broken in many ways, sinful, and inadequate. This is my real point though; I’m not a pro at bible verses because it’s a gift (although I do believe the Word of God is a blessing and gift), the reason that I know my verses is because I have struggled with those things. Let me try to say that simpler…

The verses that I have memorized, point to something that I struggle with.

Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous.” Because I struggle with that.

Song of Songs 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, there is no flaw in you.” Because I struggle with that.

2 Corinthians 10:5 “Take captive every thought…” Because I struggle with that.

2 John verse 6 “Love means we live by doing what He commands.” Because I struggle with that too.

2 Thessalonians 1:5 & 2:13 “You are considered worthy of His kingdom…. In the beginning He chose you.” Because I struggle with that.

I know verses from Psalms because they comfort me.

I know these things not because I am perfect or because I’m a good student. I know them because I have struggled with them personally.

I struggle with being courageous, feeling beautiful, bad thoughts, obedience, feeling worthy, feeling wanted, and feeling chosen.

 

I’m realizing the truth told in James 1:2-4 that (in my own words) explains that life is hard, but when each trial is over I will be stronger. After each hardship I go through, I get stronger and I will know more. I’ll be closer to my God because of it. It’s not easy, and James prepares us mentally for that. Additionally, take joy through and in the hardships.

I’ve realized something else too.

It’s worth it.

Going through the hard stuff is worth it.

And… I wonder if that’s what Jesus thought.

-Candice

 

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